Cassidy's Cowboy (Search For Love) Read online

  Ben stopped. "With Miss Sullivan?"

  Loren turned to him. "Don't say it like she's a rattlesnake that could get into your boots while you're sleeping. There's plenty of room. After all, I can vouch for your character."

  Julie squeezed his hand and he knew she was uncertain about being here, in a strange place. Since her mom left, she'd been uncertain about everything. If staying here

  didn't go well, they could fly back to Vermont and try something else, though he wasn't sure what.

  Loren's appraising gaze scanned him from eyes to shoes. "You're going to have to get rid of those fancy duds and get some rough-and-tumble gear."

  Ben felt himself becoming defensive, even though he'd always known his uncle was plain speaking and honest to a fault. The fancy clothes he spoke of consisted of a tan, oxford shirt, khakis and leather loafers. "I have jeans in my suitcase."

  "Well, good. I hope you've got boots in there, too, because you're going to need them."

  Need them for what? Ben wondered. After all, he'd thought of this as kind of a vacation. He hadn't actually considered being part of a working ranch. He'd tried to insist on paying Cassidy Sullivan for their stay here. But she'd been adamantly against it. He'd found her as determined as his uncle! Well, Ben could be that way, too. He'd repay her somehow.

  Whenever she spoke of his uncle, she did so with a downright fondness in her voice. He supposed she'd depended on his Uncle Loren a lot, since Tina Christopher had died. How difficult would it be for a woman not even thirty to run a ranch this size on her own?

  When they came in sight of the guest cabin, Ben almost stopped again. "Did you have a tornado go through here?"

  There were two uprooted trees and shingles scattered on the ground.

  "We've had a series of storms over the past week, drenching rain again last night. That's why Cassie's down here this morning. She insisted she didn't want to pull any men away from their ranch duties. She can be one stubborn woman sometimes."

  Ben knew all about stubborn women. If Melinda hadn't been so stubborn, they'd still be married. Or would they? He'd lived with his if-onlys and what-ifs for the past eighteen months. That hadn't done him or Julie any good. But he didn't know how to move past the guilt and regrets. Maybe instead of working out in the gym he needed to ride a horse, split logs, feel the sun on his back. Maybe he could shove work into the backseat while he was here. He doubted it, but he could try.

  Julie held on even more tightly to his hand as they approached the door of the small cabin and country music spilled out. He teasingly flipped one of her braids. If anyone had told him before Melinda left that he could learn how to braid hair, tie bows on the ends and have a tea party with his daughter, he would have told them they were crazy. But a man did what a man had to do. A father did what a father had to do.

  When Ben first caught sight of Cassidy Sullivan, she was pushing a large overstuffed chair from one side of the cabin to the other. Apparently she'd been moving furniture for a while, because everything from the one side of the cabin was on the other side. He noticed the large, wet spot on the floor and the buckets half-filled with what he supposed was rain water. When he looked up at the ceiling, he spotted where it had come from. There was a gaping hole where the roof had been torn off.

  Because music blared from a radio, she hadn't heard them approach.

  Loren called over the music. "Cassie!"

  She turned to face them.

  Ben was struck immediately by the look of dogged determination on her face and then the affection in her brown eyes as she gave her attention to his uncle. When she crossed the room to turn down the radio, he saw she moved gracefully and had a figure that—

  Her tight jeans and T-shirt initiated a startling response in his body, one he hadn't experienced for well over a year and a half. To cover his reaction to her, Ben quipped, "Looks like you need another hand more than you need a house guest."

  She crossed to him and extended her hand. "It's good to meet you, Mr. O'Donnell."

  "Ben," he said, without thinking why that had come to his lips so quickly.

  "Ben," she said, with a nod that told him she wouldn't soon forget.

  Her hand in his felt small and fragile. He found himself wanting to hold on a little longer to feel the calluses, to tell her she shouldn't work so hard. From what his uncle had said and what he had seen so far, she did.

  Her cheeks flushed a little as she pulled her hand from his, and he wondered if she'd felt that sting of awareness, too. An awareness that was almost as foreign to him as his daughter's laughter.

  Cassie crouched down in front of Julie. "Hi, there. My name's Cassie. What's yours?"

  Julie looked up to her dad as if seeking approval. He nodded. "Julie," she said.

  Cassie's smile widened. "It's good to meet you, Julie. Do you like horses?"

  His daughter shrugged and looked down at her sneakers. "I don't know. I've never touched one."

  "Maybe we can do something about that while you're here. Would you like to go up to the house and see your room?"

  Again Julie shrugged.

  But Cassie didn't give up. She said, "You can pick the one you want."

  Julie suddenly looked interested. "I can?"

  "Yep. I'll leave this mess for a little while and get you settled in."

  When Cassie rose to her feet, Julie looked up at her with interest and her hand didn't quite hold on so tightly to Ben's.

  Fifteen minutes later after Cassie had introduced them to Rachel Mayer, Cassie's housekeeper, Ben had taken their gear from the rented SUV and carried it upstairs. As Cassie led Julie from room to room, the little girl studied one with pin-striped blue-and-white wallpaper and small pink roses. A second was more sedate with wine-and-navy striped paper. Julie surveyed the room with the blue-and-white striped wallpaper from the doorway. Lace curtains at the windows blew in the June breeze. The many throw pillows on the white chenille spread were inviting.

  "I like this one," Julie decided. "Which one is yours, Daddy?"

  He pointed to the one right next door with the wine-and-navy wallpaper. "I think this one will do just fine. And I'm within shouting distance if you need me."

  Cassie gave him a speculative look but he didn't explain about his daughter's bad dreams. Time enough for that if they occurred here.

  "So, how about some dinner?" Cassie asked. "Rachel should have it almost ready. You'll have to tell her what you like so she can make your favorite things."

  "If it was up to Julie, she'd eat burgers and fries every night."

  "You like 'em, too," his daughter pointed out, and he was glad to hear some spirit in her voice. That had been missing for so long.

  "Yes, I do. But we'll have to come up with some other food for Miss Rachel to make. Put your thinking cap on."

  She gave him one of those Oh-Daddy smiles. "I don't have a thinking cap."

  A short time later, Rachel served them dinner and sat down with them to eat. Loren joined them too, and Ben watched the interaction between his uncle and Rachel, who was a little younger than him. It wasn't what they said, but the looks they exchanged, and Ben wondered if his uncle had been holding out on him, if maybe there was a romantic interest in his life.

  Searching for a way to keep the dinner conversation going, Ben asked Cassie, "So you grew up around here?"

  A hush settled over the table. Rachel, Loren and Cassie exchanged looks and he wondered what that was about. But Cassie answered, "I came to live with Tina when I was seventeen. She taught me everything I know about horses and how to handle them, how to run cattle—"

  Loren interrupted. "How to keep us all under your thumb."

  Cassie laughed. "I suppose, she did. But I soon figured out if I treated my hands with respect, they'd treat me the same."

  As Rachel rose to her feet and began to clear dishes, she asked Julie, "What would you like for breakfast? Eggs, pancakes, toast, cereal? I have a little bit of everything."

  While Julie discussed breakf
ast with Cassie's housekeeper, Ben wondered why Rachel and Loren were so protective of Cassie...he wondered what she was hiding.

  After the table was cleared, Ben and Julie changed into jeans and T-shirts, slipped on their jackets, went downstairs and outside. They spotted Cassie in a corral where a golden mare was running in circles.

  "She's pretty," Julie said, almost in awe as they approached the fence. But Ben was looking at Cassie, not the horse and Julie's words rang way too true. Cassie Sullivan was pretty...and curvy.

  He heard Loren say to her, "I haven't been able to get anywhere near her today without her bucking, stomping and rearing. Be careful."

  "She's not scared of me," Cassie assured him. "I'll be fine."

  Ben could feel Loren's concern as Cassie took a few steps closer to the agitated horse. He wanted to rush in there himself and pull her out.

  Julie tugged on his hand. "What's she gonna do?"

  He didn't know if his daughter meant Cassie or the horse, but he said in an even tone, "Let's wait and see."

  He hoped he wasn't witnessing a disaster in the making, because that was the last thing Julie needed. But before he could scoop his daughter up and take her back to the house, Cassie took one slow step at a time toward the golden horse.

  The horse blew out breath and whinnied, swished its tail and took a few steps to the side.

  Cassie just faced her squarely, gazing at her. It was as if some silent communication passed between them. The horse stood perfectly still and so did Cassie.

  Then he heard Cassie say in a low voice, "Good girl. You're fine. You're really going to like it here, I promise you. I'll be back to visit you tomorrow."

  She didn't try to touch the horse but slowly backed away, the same way she'd walked in. She slipped through the gate and closed it.

  Ben let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding.

  "She talked to her," Julie said.

  "Yes, she did, and I think the horse heard her. Maybe we can find out the horse's name."

  Julie let go of his hand as they walked up to the corral.

  "What was that about?" he asked.

  "She's a wild mustang," Cassie explained. "I adopted her. The Bureau of Land Management thins the herds and they send horses all over the country for adoption. This mare came from the Big Horns. Her name's Sunny. Isn't she beautiful?"

  "I haven't been around horses for a while," Ben said. "For a horse she's all right."

  Loren chuckled.

  When Ben's gaze met Cassie's, he couldn't seem to look away. But he finally did, feeling disconcerted.

  As if Cassie had felt the same magnetic pull and was unnerved, too, she turned toward the house. "We're usually up before dawn, so I'm going to say goodnight. I'll see you all in the morning." To Julie she said, "Maybe I can show you some of our tamer horses tomorrow. Their noses are as soft as velvet."

  "Can I touch one?"

  "Better than that, you might even be able to ride one. Your dad and I will talk about it."

  Before Ben could protest, or even say goodnight, Cassie was on the way up to the house, out of earshot.

  Ben looked after her, intrigued by her. Melinda had been petite, poised, sophisticated, and always vigilant about them moving in the right circles. Ben didn’t know Cassie's background, but already he suspected she was down-to-earth, practical, with her feet always on the ground.

  He said to Loren, "What's her story?"

  "How do you know she has one?"

  "Everybody has a story," Ben responded, knowing it was true.

  "Cassie's is a little different than most. It's hers to tell. Maybe if you get to know her, she will."

  Get to know her. Did he want to do that? After all, he and Julie would be here a few weeks and then they'd be gone.

  Maybe exchanging stories wasn't such a great idea.

  ***

  In her room, Cassie turned the pages of the decorating magazine. She loved to decorate. Everyone who saw the rooms she'd done told her she had an eye for color. Last fall, she'd even helped a neighbor redo her living room. Cassie couldn't read the descriptions of the rooms in the pictures, but she could absorb every detail of the way they were designed. The thing was, tonight that couldn't keep her occupied and she felt downright trapped. She'd stayed in her room while she'd heard Ben and Julie getting ready for bed. She hadn't wanted to interrupt their nighttime routine. But now all was quiet.

  Ben.

  She felt something when she looked at him, something unusual. She was used to working with men, for goodness sakes. But none of them had ever made her stomach tumble a little. None of them had ever made her feel a bit...tingly. She knew the kind of man Ben was. At thirty-seven, he was CEO of his own company and he was used to fine things. She could tell from his clothes and the suitcases he'd brought in. And she suspected he was used to women who were polished, and who could certainly read. If he knew she would have ended up in juvenile hall instead of with Tina would he let her anywhere near Julie? She didn't know.

  Maybe one of Rachel's chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk could settle her down. Morning would come long before she wanted it to at this rate.

  Fifteen minutes later, she'd gone downstairs and was coming back up with two cookies on a napkin and a glass of milk when the door to Ben's room opened. As she mounted the last three steps, she saw he was shirtless, wearing only a pair of jeans that hung low on his hips. In fact, she could follow all of that curly black chest hair down below his navel.

  Her gaze snapped up to his face. "I just went downstairs for a snack," she said. "Want a cookie?" Rattled, she held one out to him.

  A slow smile slipped across his lips and that same tummy-twirling sensation happened again. "Sure. You don't want it?" he asked, coming closer.

  "Nope. One's good enough. I hope I didn't wake you."

  "I'm a light sleeper. I heard a noise and thought Julie might be up. I just wanted to make sure she was okay."

  Cassie had slung on her robe—a pink cotton one—but she could feel the belt becoming undone and she only had a silky nightgown underneath. "I hope you don't mind, but Loren told me about your wife leaving."

  Ben hadn't spoken of his personal life at all and she couldn't blame him for wanting to keep it private. But being around Julie, she needed to know what had happened so she didn't say something stupid. "I want to make sure I handle Julie the right way. I don't want to say anything that would hurt her."

  Ben's mouth had tightened at the mention of his marriage, or rather the end of it, but then at the mention of Julie his expression softened again. "Melinda left eighteen months ago. She decided she didn't want to be married anymore, that she wanted to accept a job her cosmetics company offered her in Seattle."

  "And she didn't want to take Julie with her?"

  "No, she didn't."

  Cassie couldn't understand a woman who could just walk away from her child. Yes, her mother had given up Lucy, but that had been because she couldn't take care of her. This was altogether different. "Does Julie see her?"

  "The truth is, she didn't see much of either of us before Melinda left. We had a nanny. We both had careers and we thought she was okay. But then after Melinda left she wasn't okay. She saw her at Christmas at Melinda's place in Seattle. I thought of taking Julie to see her this summer, but Melinda's in Europe right now. She's living the life she always wanted to live. I don't understand it any more than Julie did."

  "I'm sorry."

  He gave a nonchalant shrug. "I'll get over it, but I don't think Julie ever will."

  "I lost my mom when I was five," Cassie said before she thought better of it. "I never knew my dad."

  "Is that when you came here? Tina adopted you?"

  "No, it's a long story. But the good news is, last fall I learned I had a twin sister. Lucy and I are thinking about searching for our dad, but I'm not sure if that will happen or not."

  "A twin," Ben said. "How great is that! I always hoped Julie wouldn't be an only child." He stopped abru
ptly, recovering from whatever he was thinking. He asked, "So do you feel connected to your sister in a special way? Or is that a myth?"

  "Lucy and I are practically identical, and since her first call to me, yes, I do feel connected. But not in some mystical way."

  She wasn't going to go into how Lucy had found her. That would be putting a royal strain on this conversation.

  Her belt suddenly gave way and her robe opened. Ben's gaze drifted to her breasts and for a moment the world seemed to stop turning.

  But then he gave her a crooked smile and brought his gaze back up to her face. "Are you still willing to give up one of those cookies?"

  Thank goodness the man had panache and a sense of humor. "Sure." He took one from the napkin and she turned to go into her room.

  But then they both heard a cry. Julie called, "Daddy!"

  Ben dropped the cookie to the floor and raced to his daughter's bedside with Cassie following. She really should stay out of this. Yes, she should.

  But the little girl's cry had torn through her heart and she simply couldn't.

  Chapter Three

  Ben had scooped Julie into his arms and was rocking her. His daughter was still crying and his face was filled with all the anguish he felt for her.

  He kept murmuring to her, "It's okay, baby. I'm right here. I'm never going to leave."

  Cassie felt for the two of them. But this tableau was too private for her to be a part of. How many times in her life had she felt scared? That everyone she'd loved had left? She was so glad Julie had her dad.

  A dad. Cassie caught Ben's eye and in a low voice asked, "Do you need anything?"

  He just shook his head.

  Moments later, she left father and daughter alone, went into the hall and picked up the broken cookie, gathering the crumbs. Pensively, she went into her room, dumped the cookie into the waste can, picked up her cell phone and pressed speed dial for Lucy.

  Yes, it was late, but they called each other anytime day or night. That was the wonderful thing about having a twin.